Monday, 19 January 2015


Am I a Man or Hedgehog?

I really hate this time of year as we rise in the dark and retire in the dark.
For someone who suffers with depression, anxiety, OCD and (at times) agoraphobia this is not a good time of year for me!

I do my best to cope by walking when I can (if I catch the light) that is, and by keeping the curtains open to grab as much natural daylight that I can.

However, because of the depression I often feel a little like a hedgehog that just feels it should hibernate and stay in bed…which is so easy to do…especially with depression!

I know I stay up too late…go to bed in the morning and rise in the late afternoon…so inevitably I always miss any daylight there is…but today was different as I actually did a two and a half hour walk from 10pm to 12:30am yesterday…retired at 1am and awoke at 6.30am….yes still dark but with hours of daylight ahead.
All this was to get my Daughters car cleaned and ready for its major service and MOT by 10am that day….so no laying in bed for me today!

I got the car to the garage by 09:45 and then had a 45min walk (in the sunshine) back home. Once home I had breakfast/brunch with the wife and then got the call at 1pm to collect the car (which was now ready) just after 2pm.

So I set out on my walk back for 45min (again in the bright sunlight) to collect the car.
It was cold but bright and the day overall was really nice.

Do I feel better for the added hours of daylight and sunshine…YES

Would I do it again…..YES

Did it help my depression…..YES

So what's the moral behind all this?

Make an effort…no matter how hard it is!

I need to find more reasons to get up…get out as much as possible (when its bright and sunny)….and I guess even when its not….just to catch the light.
Since I retired because of my mental health and pressures of caring for my disabled wife in 2012 I have had little time to repair myself and at times this has led to even further bouts of severe depression…so….if its possible to make a small difference as I did today….I win…and everyone around me wins!

I can say… was a HAPPY DAY…and may there be many more….as by God…we all need them

Mark…..A Madder Man…but not so Mad today as yesterday!

Friday, 4 April 2014

I'm Back

Yes Johnny's Back and he's even Madder than before!

Thought I would create this crazy blog spot just for me so I could rant and rave about the various things in life that I have an opoinion about.

Radio listeners know by now that I am just a little off the wall....but this blog site will almost certainly confirm that i'm not just off the wall....i'm actually over it....I have escaped!

Drop in from time to time to see what I'm it or wont stop me having an opinion!


Bruno Benning (Alias Johnny)